Dismembered Bodies

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A few months ago, I bought Custom Knits by Wendy Bernard, a book about knitting items that actually fit your body. I have only glanced through it, but the concept is rather earth shaking for where I am as a knitter. I have knit one sweater for myself, and the fit is horrible. The picture in the book, Stitch 'N Bitch, is very flattering on the model. On me, it’s just a giant fuzzy box. I thought I had done something wrong, but it’s actually a very natural phenomenon. The pattern is a tunic sweater with no side shaping. A more advanced knitter would intuitively understand that for a project to have a shape, you need to knit the shape into it. Custom Knits actually discusses altering patterns to make them more flattering and how to read patterns without getting duped by the model shot.

For fear of repeating my disappointment, I have been sticking to accessories (hats, gloves, scarves, and slippers), and I knit objects following patterns in the strictest sense. Even yarn substitutions are made with much trepidation. I typically will scour Ravelry to see what other people used to verify that a yarn is suitable for a given project. I’ve had one horrible experience where I substituted a yarn for a project (the yarn was recommended by a store employee as suitable for the gauge) and the tank ended up being twice as wide as it should have been. What did that experience teach me? Always check your gauge. Do not knit 90% of the project before doing it, either. This project was a special case because it was all in a ribbed pattern, and it was just really hard to figure out. I kept trying to stretch the finished part over my body, but without pinning it to myself, how could I really tell. Maybe if I had a dress form or even a mannequin, I could have checked the sizing sooner.

I spent a day looking at dress forms on the internet. Starting at $100, I could get a nice Singer adjustable dress form. They come in different colors and seem pleasing to the eye with their uniform shape and fabric. I could totally use it as a decorative piece, and it wouldn’t be an eyesore if left out. My hoarding instinct keeps nagging me that I NEED a dress form.

A much cheaper alternative is the make-your-own variety. For the price of a roll of duct tape and a disposable t-shirt, you can make a mold of yourself.  When all is said and done, making a mold of my body is definitely the more accurate approach. The mold will capture the true placement of the waistline and bust instead of the estimate a generic dress form will give you, even an adjustable one. The downside? Do I really want to stare at my body wrapped in duct tape and mounted on a pole. That is just so Silence of Lambs.

Next thing you know, I’ll be dancing around in a kimono to Goodbye Horses and imagining myself in my special suit. The only place I can keep it is the guest room where it will surely creep out anyone spending the night. Plus, I lose the aesthetic of having something to model my FOs for photo ops. And, I’m still itching to buy something.

An alternative object d’art would be a mannequin. The hubby and I have always wanted one. We used to decorate our old apartment with heads wearing the multitude of wigs we collected over the years. When the baby experiment began, we decluttered and donated the heads to my stepson. I’ve since stolen one back for hat making purposes. Heads are good, but a full mannequin would fulfill one of those muddled childhood fantasies I still carry around with me. When I was thirteen, I saw Lady Beware with Diane Lane about a window dresser that lives in a loft and gets stalked. From then on, I wanted to live in a converted warehouse and decorate my place with mannequins. The warehouse dreams have been squashed by the loft trend. It’s just not cool anymore if everyone is doing it. Besides, I wanted to have 10,000 SF so I could drive my car into it. Not realistic these days.

At least the mannequin idea is still available to me. I can dress it, pose it, take pictures of my FOs and maybe even freak out my elderly neighbors by placing it in the window to stare back at them. If I can find a cheap source of parts, maybe I can collect a large enough stack to make a gruesome display for next Halloween.

So today, I will begin my search of a reasonably priced mannequin in earnest.  Updates to follow.

Anthropologie Inspired Cable Knit Ascot

Saturday, January 9, 2010

I do not shop at Anthropologie. I've never even been in a store, though I'm within 20 miles of one. I think I might be a little intimidated by how cool and artsy everything looks. Or maybe it's too young looking. I don't know. The price tag automatically stops me from entering. But, I can still shop from afar by visiting the online catalog. On one of my window shopping trips across the internet, I spent some time looking through their knit offerings. Lots of sweater coats - too complex to deconstruct based on an online picture - and several scarves. One scarf in particular jumped out at me. The ascot looked like something I might be able to knit. I saved a picture from the catalog. Good thing too because they have since sold out.

I spent quite a bit of time looking for possible pattern matches, but nothing exact appeared. Through trial and error, I was able to piece together my own pattern. This is the first time I have tried to create a pattern of my own. I'm good at following other people's directions, but this is completely new territory.

I did make one change from the original. I did the whole thing in garter stitch instead of making the bow pinch in a rib pattern. I included instructions for both options. Click on the link below.

Anthropologie Inspired Cable Knit Ascot

Feel free to let me know if something doesn't make sense. Some of the pattern was written after the fact. I hope I didn't forget anything.

I think I will try this one again in a medium gray color when I have some time.

On a side note, the whole reason I created this blog was so that I could add this pattern to Ravelry. Just before finishing my upload, I did another search and found that someone else had the same idea, and had deconstructed their own version of the pattern. My only comfort is that the knitter used a worsted weight yarn and the cable pattern is completely different. So I can still say my pattern is original.

A little background

Writing about myself is surprisingly difficult. I enjoy talking about myself well enough, but this is a little weird. Who is my audience? What tantalizing bit of personal information would some random stranger on the internet find interesting? I'm really good at making lists, so I'll just list some random facts about myself. These will be in no particular order of importance.

• I'm just past the mid-point of my thirties. Wow, I remember my mother at this age. I've even started dressing like her back then.
• I'm married. We were married in 2001, the day before 9/11. It was at City Hall in front of our parents and a few friends. No one knew about it. So we had a second wedding six months later for the rest of the family and friends. So which anniversary do we celebrate? We manage to forget both equally.
• Kids. I have two stepkids. They live with their mom fairly close to us. They stop in from time to time. I have a little rugrat of my very own as well. He's an experiment that I think is wise not to repeat. He was hatched in 2004. I'm a great stepmom, but full-time motherhood is outside of the scope of my skill set. I'm sure I will have stories about him.
• I work full-time. I'm in commercial real estate. I won't be discussing work here.
• I have a house. I bought a fixer upper at the top of the market. It is my albatross. I will definitely be discussing my home improvement nightmares and subsequent financial woes here.
• I'm a hobby whore. I pick up hobbies, invest in the supplies, hoard actually, and abandon them systematically. I have 50 pounds of scrapbooking paper. I haven't scrapbooked since 2004. I just don't have the time. But one day, I will get to catch up. I can sort of sew on a sewing machine. I can put stuff together when I need it.
• I used to paint. I really want to start again, but the to-do list is so big that I can't seem to get to it. Maybe I'll post some pictures of my favorite projects. I just need some anonymous encouragement. I would like to eventually have a show - if I can get enough pieces finished. I haven't finished one since 2004.
• I'm a knitter. I've been knitting for a few years. I got back into it in 2009 as part of a New Year's resolution to finish some of my projects that were mothballed. The knitting is what brought me here, and I'm sure I'll be talking about it in greater detail later.
• I love food. I'm not a good cook. I try though. I wish my hubby and son were more open to my experiments. I get tired of spaghetti and grilled cheese sandwiches.
• I don't drink. I did in my twenties but the pregnancy broke me of the habit and I don't really miss it. I probably have a cocktail once a month.
• I miss smoking. I have asthma and I know better. But, every now and then I will still sneak a cigarette. Us bad girls have to have our vices.
• I miss shopping. I used to be pretty good at it. Lack of money and a figure worth dressing has led to a decline. I'm not fat, but I'm not tone either. No one's fault but my own. The exercise equipment is sitting and waiting patiently for me in the garage.
• Style-wise, I'm a chameleon. I think I have a dark soul, so I lean toward the goth and alternative, at least in my head. I'll wear what is appropriate for my age, where I live, and what I do for a living, but I secretly wish I didn't. I have learned to conform, but I'm not happy about it.
• I watch way too much TV. Couch potato extraordinaire.
  
• I love to read. I have no time or energy to actually read, so I have found a new love - audiobooks. I listen to at least one book a week. I have a 30 minute commute each way, so I listen while I drive. I also plug in when I'm doing stuff around the house. Multi-tasking.

I think I'll add more as I go along and expand on some of the points above. The reality is this whole blog will be about me in one way or another. Apparently, the vanity of Facebook isn't enough to hold me.